Tomorrow starts the new season of The Bachelorette, get me the tequila now! Here are the bios on the men
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Meet Andrew. He is a social media Marketer. 30 years old. No tattoos. Has shoe size is 10. I don't know why ABC put that information. Maybe Andi likes big feet. But you know what they say, big feet, small....toe
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Meet Bradley. I already don't like his guy based upon his name. Bradley. I feel like he should be wearing his polo outfit. He is 32 and an opera singer. Has shoe size of 13. See what I told you, big feet.
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Meet Brett. He is 29 and a hair stylist. He will not get far. Andi is an alpha female, she will eat him and chew him out. Poor guy.
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Meet Brian. He is 27 years old and a basketball coach. One of his all time favorite movies is The Notebook. GAH! Worst pick up line since Hey is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in them
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Meet Carl. He is 30 years old and a firefighter. Pretty sure he is called fireman hot pants at a lot of bachelorette parties he works.
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Meet Chris. He is 32 years old and a farmer. Don't see him getting far. I just can't see Andi moving to Iowa and shoveling cow crap
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Meet Cody. He is 28 and a personal trainer. Personal trainer? No! I couldn't tell
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Meet Craig. He is 29 and a tax accountant. His most embarrassing moment is when he dressed up as a stripper and stripped at his Uncle 50th birthday party. He's got daddy issues or should I say Uncle
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Meet Dylan. He is 26 years old and an accountant. One of his favorite movies is shawshank redemption. He will get to experience his own Shawshank Redemption. Living in a house full of guys. Just don't drop the soap
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Meet Emil. He is 33 years old and a helicopter pilot. His preferred type of dancing is twerking. That's where I know him from. He was one of those bears up on stage with Miley Cyrus during the MTV music awards
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Meet Eric. 31 Years old and an explorer, He seemed really nice and genuine. R.I.P.
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Meet Jason. He is 35 years old and is an urgent care physician. If he had one superpower it would be x-ray vision so he could help his patients faster. Sure, that is the only reason he wants x-ray vision.
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Meet JJ. He is 30 and a pantsapreneur. I looked it up and a pantsapreneur is someone who knows a lot about pants. Pretty sure it is made up. But not my job title: blogapreneur
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Meet Josh B. He is 29 years old and a telecommunication Marketer. Just another fancy word for telemarketer which comes from Latin meaning "Don't call here again during dinner!"
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Meet Josh M. He is 29 years old and is a Former Pro Baseball player. If he was on a stranded island he would bring a woman to keep him company, a gun to kill animals with, and a knife to carve them up with. Usually people say they would bring books or movies, but you know being a serial killer is cool too. Spoiler alert: He kills all the animals and then turns on the woman
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Meet Marcus. He is 25 years old and a sports medicine manager. One of his favorite artists is Erique Iglesias. Please Lord, don't let him sing a chorus of hero.
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Meet Maquel. He is 26 years old and a sponsership salesman. Wow ABC, you are finally letting people of color on the show. Did you finally realize that black and white people can marry? Maybe now you can tackle the issue of women's right to vote.
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Meet Mike. He is 29 years old and a bartender. Maybe he could come over to my house for a bachelorette drinking game.
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Meet Nick S. He is 27 years old and is a pro golfer. Now is he a pro golfer or a pro mini golfer because I currently hold the title to the latter.
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Meet Nick V. He is a 33 years old and is a software sales executive. The reason they put so many guys with the same names is so when she is calling out the guys name and she says Nick, there is a dramatic pause, and then V.
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Meet Patrick. He is 29 years old and an advertising executive. He has one tattoo. Pretty sure it is a picture of himself that says love you.
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Meet Ron. He is 28 years old and is a beverage sales manager. Wow look at ABC. Putting two people on this show.. I always wondered what it would be like if The Bachelor was a person of color. But then I remember that flavor of love starring Flavor flav took care of that.
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Meet Rudie. He is 31 and an attorney. He is in a band. Will Andi be a groupie? Probably not. Who would want to date someone who has the same job as you.
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Meet Steven. He is 30 years old and makes snowboard products. I can't say anything bad about him. He is from Encinitas, CA, which is right in my backyard. So maybe this show won't be so miserable.
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Meet Tasos. He is 30 years old and an event coordinator. I just feel like he is going to be the sassy one of the show and bitch slap someone. But that's just me.