So I made it through another episode of The Bachelorette. I have been asked why I am doing this blog if I don't like this show. It is simple. I watch the episodes so you don't have to. I made this blog because I love giving my sarcastic commentary on shows that don't contribute anything to society. If not The Bachelorette, it would be My Strange Addictions or Keeping up with the Kardashian's (which I never watch. I cannot sit through all the whiney voices). Plus, this is for all the people who stand in the grocery line, see the magazine and then have some stranger tell you all about the show. It is better to trust a stranger on the internet than some stranger in real life. I'm helping society. I'm a regular Mother Teresa.
This episode starts out with Andi doing her make up. She talks about how she can't believe she is here (me either). This episode marks the starts of the dates. There is one group dates and two one on one dates. Chris Harrison gives out the card for the one on one date. The first date is with Eric. Andi picks him up and they are driving with the top down. They go to the beach. One thing I wanted to point out is that Andi parks in the red. Um excuse me Andi but that is for fire trucks. I wish she would have been towed. "On this episode of The Bachelorette, Andi's car gets towed and they spend their date at the tow yard."
Andi and Eric are having a fun time at the beach. And then out of no where a helicopter comes and lands on the beach. It almost seemed like this was planned! Eric and Andi go up in the helicopter. Andi says it is her first time in a helicopter and then pukes on Eric (okay that didn't happen). The helicopter takes them to Bear Mountain. I guess Andi decided it would be a good idea to walk in the snow barefoot not thinking about frostbite. Then all of sudden a snowboarder starts coming their way. It almost seems like this was planned! The snowboarder introduces himself as Louie Vito who is going to teach them how to snowboard. Eric is good at it and Andi sucks. Best part of the episode is watching Andi fall. You could see that Louie Vito regretted the decision to come on the show. He must be broke. After the lessons, they go to some cabin. Andi wants to know what Eric isn't good at and that is when we see Andi the man-eater. Eric tells a story about his travels and Andi fakes interest. The date ends with them by the fire.
Next up is the group date. Instead of doing something fun, Andi has them become male strippers. Yes, I am serious. There will be two solo acts and three group acts; cowboys, armed forces, and firefighters. The guys have the "I am losing my dignity" look. Craig is all excited about it but he is kind of a weirdo. Cody is really excited to strip. I thought you couldn't come on the show if you were in a committed relationship. Does it not count if your in a relationship with yourself (BAM! burn). The one thing that disturbs me is the basketball coach is going to be stripping. He is a teacher and coach. I don't know how I would feel to have my kids be around him, that's messed up. Oh! Did I mention that all the money made here will go to a great cause? That is how some of the guys were coping with this. I am doing this for charity! I hope they fund a charity for getting your dignity back. The show starts and there are women in the audience. Everybody is excited. Some of the guys seem like they have done this before, which doesn't surprise me. After stripping, the guys and Andi head back to some house where they have some mini one on one times with Andi. Craig decides to get drunk. He causes a ruckus and Andi is upset. Craig jumps in the pool with his clothes on. He is wasted. Andi is upset and thinking people are not here for the right reason. WOW Andi. Really? Are you even here for the right reason or just to get more free trips?
Next up is her one on one date with Chris. They decide to go to the horse races in Santa Anita. They bet on some horses and drink. Then the most staged conversation happens. An old couple asks them how they have been together. They tell them that this is their first date. The old couple have been together for 55 years. This gives Andi hopes that she will find her husband and be married for 55 years. More like 55 days if you go on The Bachelorette. After hearing the old couple tell their stories (why do old people always have to tell stories?), Andi and Chris have a romantic dinner. They have a boring conversation. They dance to some unknown band and then they kiss. Chris is the first one to kiss her and he won't be the last.
Finally it is the cocktail party. Andi has more boring conversations. She kisses Josh M. Craig sings her a song which is horrible. He asks for her forgiveness for about last night. Then finally it is the rose ceremony. Carl, Nick S, and Craig do not get a rose. So much for Craig's song.
Thank you for reading my blog! Next week is a two night episode of The Bachelorette. I will be posting both episodes on Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed reading this and please pass it on!
This episode starts out with Andi doing her make up. She talks about how she can't believe she is here (me either). This episode marks the starts of the dates. There is one group dates and two one on one dates. Chris Harrison gives out the card for the one on one date. The first date is with Eric. Andi picks him up and they are driving with the top down. They go to the beach. One thing I wanted to point out is that Andi parks in the red. Um excuse me Andi but that is for fire trucks. I wish she would have been towed. "On this episode of The Bachelorette, Andi's car gets towed and they spend their date at the tow yard."
Andi and Eric are having a fun time at the beach. And then out of no where a helicopter comes and lands on the beach. It almost seemed like this was planned! Eric and Andi go up in the helicopter. Andi says it is her first time in a helicopter and then pukes on Eric (okay that didn't happen). The helicopter takes them to Bear Mountain. I guess Andi decided it would be a good idea to walk in the snow barefoot not thinking about frostbite. Then all of sudden a snowboarder starts coming their way. It almost seems like this was planned! The snowboarder introduces himself as Louie Vito who is going to teach them how to snowboard. Eric is good at it and Andi sucks. Best part of the episode is watching Andi fall. You could see that Louie Vito regretted the decision to come on the show. He must be broke. After the lessons, they go to some cabin. Andi wants to know what Eric isn't good at and that is when we see Andi the man-eater. Eric tells a story about his travels and Andi fakes interest. The date ends with them by the fire.
Next up is the group date. Instead of doing something fun, Andi has them become male strippers. Yes, I am serious. There will be two solo acts and three group acts; cowboys, armed forces, and firefighters. The guys have the "I am losing my dignity" look. Craig is all excited about it but he is kind of a weirdo. Cody is really excited to strip. I thought you couldn't come on the show if you were in a committed relationship. Does it not count if your in a relationship with yourself (BAM! burn). The one thing that disturbs me is the basketball coach is going to be stripping. He is a teacher and coach. I don't know how I would feel to have my kids be around him, that's messed up. Oh! Did I mention that all the money made here will go to a great cause? That is how some of the guys were coping with this. I am doing this for charity! I hope they fund a charity for getting your dignity back. The show starts and there are women in the audience. Everybody is excited. Some of the guys seem like they have done this before, which doesn't surprise me. After stripping, the guys and Andi head back to some house where they have some mini one on one times with Andi. Craig decides to get drunk. He causes a ruckus and Andi is upset. Craig jumps in the pool with his clothes on. He is wasted. Andi is upset and thinking people are not here for the right reason. WOW Andi. Really? Are you even here for the right reason or just to get more free trips?
Next up is her one on one date with Chris. They decide to go to the horse races in Santa Anita. They bet on some horses and drink. Then the most staged conversation happens. An old couple asks them how they have been together. They tell them that this is their first date. The old couple have been together for 55 years. This gives Andi hopes that she will find her husband and be married for 55 years. More like 55 days if you go on The Bachelorette. After hearing the old couple tell their stories (why do old people always have to tell stories?), Andi and Chris have a romantic dinner. They have a boring conversation. They dance to some unknown band and then they kiss. Chris is the first one to kiss her and he won't be the last.
Finally it is the cocktail party. Andi has more boring conversations. She kisses Josh M. Craig sings her a song which is horrible. He asks for her forgiveness for about last night. Then finally it is the rose ceremony. Carl, Nick S, and Craig do not get a rose. So much for Craig's song.
Thank you for reading my blog! Next week is a two night episode of The Bachelorette. I will be posting both episodes on Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed reading this and please pass it on!