Last night was the season premiere of The Bachelorette. Let's just say there was a lot tears. Mostly from me, I think about how I have to sit through all this, it gives me tears. BUT, I move forward.
In the opening scene, Chris Harrison talks about Eric and says this season will be dedicated to him. That was pretty classy.
After the intro, we finally got to meet Andi. They showed her in a "court room" which was probably people from the drama department from the local college. She puts in a few objections to show the audience that she knows what she is talking about. Then comes her sob story. Work is such a big part of her life and she is leaving it all behind for The Bachelorette, and she is sad. PLEASE! She gets to go on trips, free alcohol, and have good looking men around. Sounds like spring break of '98 for some people.
Then we have many scenes of Andi walking around in different places in Atlanta, looking into the sky as she contemplates her love life or thinking about the free vacation she is about to receive. After all those staged walks, she talks to her parents. Her dad is the only sensible one. In so many words, he believes she won't find anyone.
Finally, she is in L.A. and we have more scenes of her walking around. Really ABC? We get it, she can walk and contemplate life, such an overachiever! After walking around some more, we see her drive up to the mansion, and who do we see? Chris Harrison. He tells her that he has been setting up his own personal hidden camera inside the shower and the bedroom before she got here. Okay maybe that didn't happen. But if I were her, I would check any suspicious holes in the ceiling. I've seen enough lifetimes to know how this ends. So, Chris tells her stuff about how guys are coming to meet here, blah, blah, blah. Andi responds with; "I can't believe 25 men from across the country are come see me." Me either, me either.
After waiting all this time, she finally gets to meet the men. The guys step out of the limo one by one and give their little first impression remarks. Here is a run down for each of the guys for their remarks
Marcus- His hands are shaking because he is excited to meet Andi. Or he is a tweeker. Huh. Maybe this season won't be so boring
Chris V- Complimented her and Andi was all excited that someone was stroking her ego.
JJ- Says he feels giddy about the whole process. What grown man says giddy?
Marquel- Tells her he has brought his A-game. What other kind of games does he have?
Tasos- He recreates the lovers bridge. They lock the lock and throw the key into the fountain. He better remember where that key is!
Cody- He comes pushing the limo in. Obviously, he wants the whole country to know he is a personal training
Steven- I have nothing bad to say about this guy. He lives in my city, so he good enough. I hope he goes far.
Rudie- Gives her a 4th voluntary waiver into his personal life. She doesn't seem like she wants to use it
Carl- brought a compass so they can start their journey. Hope that thing also points to fake people, *Cough Andi Cough*
Jason- He is a doctor and has the worst pick up line. You must have a fever because you are hot. Really? My 15 year old cousin has better pick up lines than that.
In the opening scene, Chris Harrison talks about Eric and says this season will be dedicated to him. That was pretty classy.
After the intro, we finally got to meet Andi. They showed her in a "court room" which was probably people from the drama department from the local college. She puts in a few objections to show the audience that she knows what she is talking about. Then comes her sob story. Work is such a big part of her life and she is leaving it all behind for The Bachelorette, and she is sad. PLEASE! She gets to go on trips, free alcohol, and have good looking men around. Sounds like spring break of '98 for some people.
Then we have many scenes of Andi walking around in different places in Atlanta, looking into the sky as she contemplates her love life or thinking about the free vacation she is about to receive. After all those staged walks, she talks to her parents. Her dad is the only sensible one. In so many words, he believes she won't find anyone.
Finally, she is in L.A. and we have more scenes of her walking around. Really ABC? We get it, she can walk and contemplate life, such an overachiever! After walking around some more, we see her drive up to the mansion, and who do we see? Chris Harrison. He tells her that he has been setting up his own personal hidden camera inside the shower and the bedroom before she got here. Okay maybe that didn't happen. But if I were her, I would check any suspicious holes in the ceiling. I've seen enough lifetimes to know how this ends. So, Chris tells her stuff about how guys are coming to meet here, blah, blah, blah. Andi responds with; "I can't believe 25 men from across the country are come see me." Me either, me either.
After waiting all this time, she finally gets to meet the men. The guys step out of the limo one by one and give their little first impression remarks. Here is a run down for each of the guys for their remarks
Marcus- His hands are shaking because he is excited to meet Andi. Or he is a tweeker. Huh. Maybe this season won't be so boring
Chris V- Complimented her and Andi was all excited that someone was stroking her ego.
JJ- Says he feels giddy about the whole process. What grown man says giddy?
Marquel- Tells her he has brought his A-game. What other kind of games does he have?
Tasos- He recreates the lovers bridge. They lock the lock and throw the key into the fountain. He better remember where that key is!
Cody- He comes pushing the limo in. Obviously, he wants the whole country to know he is a personal training
Steven- I have nothing bad to say about this guy. He lives in my city, so he good enough. I hope he goes far.
Rudie- Gives her a 4th voluntary waiver into his personal life. She doesn't seem like she wants to use it
Carl- brought a compass so they can start their journey. Hope that thing also points to fake people, *Cough Andi Cough*
Jason- He is a doctor and has the worst pick up line. You must have a fever because you are hot. Really? My 15 year old cousin has better pick up lines than that.
Nick V- tells her she looks pretty. Andi loves this stroking of her ego
Patrick- Brings out a soccer ball. He is a soccer player. No it is not Juan Pablo, but that would be awesome if he came back and said everything was okay.
Emil- You pronounce it like Anal but with an m. Manal. Poor guy, why do parents have to make their kids life a living hell
Brett- This was the most embarrassing act. He brings her a lamp from the hotel because his mom taught him to never be empty handed when meeting a woman. Usually people steal the small soaps and shampoo from hotels but I guess lamps are good too.
Craig- Pops champagne. This guy is ready to get wasted.
Ron- He was boring
Bradley- This is the one I was dreading the most. He tells her he is an opera singing and if he could serenade her. She says no. HA!!
Josh M- shows up in a golf cart because he is pro golfer. How creative...
Brain- told Andi he tied his tie six times. Looks good, his mom should be proud of the job she did on that tie.
Andrew- Tells her the Andrew and Andi has a nice ring. You know what else sounds right? silence
Mike- He asks Andi to pretend that they are meeting in a public place. Let's pretend that didn't happen.
Eric- Brought her two dolls from the Andies Mountains. Sweet.
PHEW! That was hard to get through.
So the guys are psyching themselves up. They make a toast and the game is on. Josh M is her type she says and he tells her that she is his mom's favorite. Tells the camera that her type might change and then right away goes to Marquel. Wow, nice editing ABC. She is talking all the guys and outside there is drama. An intruder brings Andi's some flowers. It is Chris from Emily's season. I have no idea who this guy is. But he wants to win her heart. This a totally staged set up. Andi doesn't want him in so Chris Harrison does he tough guy routine (which is tough at all) and tells him to leave. So after a bunch of boring conversations. Andi gives Nick V the first impression rose. And then Chris tells her it is time for the first rose ceremony.
She gives everyone roses except: Steven, Emil, Dylan, Rudie, Jason and Josh B. I cannot believe she kicked off Steven and kept Bradley. Bradley is a weirdo who sings. Whatever. I hope she gets dumped.
They show clips from the upcoming season. More free trips and making out with guys. Yep, just another Bachelorette season.
Drinking game: Every time she says y'all, take a shot.
Thank you for reading my first blog of the first episode. Come by next week for the second epis